Feedback: a gift or a kick in the teeth?
/ ‘fi:dback/
noun
information about reactions to a product, a person’s performance of a task, etc. which is used as a basis for improvement.
Whether it’s a coach giving a commentary on a slow-motion video of a runner’s stride, an editor’s suggested changes to a manuscript, a driving instructor observing a learner’s manoeuvres, or a manager giving performance feedback to a staff member - feedback can be immensely powerful as a tool for learning and improving.
But unless you know your feedback is both valuable and likely to translate into improvement, be aware that giving it might be counterproductive, especially if hearing it harms the self-confidence and motivation of the recipient.
Sure, you could do what plenty of managers and colleagues do and simply avoid giving feedback entirely. But that won’t help the prospective recipient improve, it won’t build psychological safety in your teams, it won’t help your organisation develop a learning culture, and it won’t grow you into a better manager and leader.
So what do you need to know to give good feedback?
First - make sure the substance of the feedback is solid. Is the feedback relevant to what they’re trying to achieve or improve? Is it focused on the task, the process, the output, or the outcome at hand? Does it relate to specific learning intentions, or specific learning gaps? Great feedback is descriptive and narrow - not general and vague. Ask yourself if you’re giving actionable feedback that helps people understand the specific things they might want to change or do differently next time?
Well-structured design crits are great examples of this. The person sharing their design work sets out the objectives of their work, the problem they’re trying to solve, and a clear scope setting out the boundaries for what can and should be critiqued. The design critique given must to relate specifically to what they’re trying to achieve, to user needs, or to the problem they’re trying to solve - meaning that whether another designer likes the design is not usually relevant.
If you’re asked to give feedback on an unedited draft document, by someone who wants to understand whether or not you think they’ve covered all the salient points you’d expect from an article on X, don’t correct their grammar and typos. If someone has asked for your feedback on their presenting style, talk about their body language or their voice projection, but don’t nit-pick at the content of their presentation.
Second - is your feedback credible? This breaks down into a number of considerations. First - is it based on direct and objective observations you’ve made? Or is this second-hand feedback on something highly subjective? A quick check for this is asking yourself if you’re able to provide specific examples, context and impact for the observed behaviour, or problem, or piece of praise. If you don’t know enough about the specific situation - are you the right person to give the feedback? Perhaps it shouldn’t be given at all? Secondly - do they trust your intent? Do you show you care about them and their growth? Are you sending them signals that you genuinely want them to succeed? Do you create psychological safety? And finally, when it comes to discussing improvement, are you an expert in what they’re trying to do, learn or achieve? Do you, and they, know why they should listen to your advice on what they should adjust or try? All these potential credibility issues are big red flags to look out for, if you’re trying to give them feedback that will be heard, accepted, internalised and acted on.
Third - is the feedback timely? This can be split too. First, is the feedback given in-context and close in time to the observed behaviour or problem or achievement? The closer in time and context the feedback is to the moment it relates to, the more likely the specific circumstances will be recalled by the recipient. They might find it easier to understand what triggered it, or what frame of mind they’d been in, or how they’d prepared for it. They might remember specific actions or words or processes that they could change next time. If they remember it, and the detail around it, they’re better equipped to reflect and improve. And, second, are there soon to be relevant opportunities for them to use the feedback and make the improvements discussed? Or can you create such opportunities? After all, the feedback isn’t especially useful unless they can close that feedback loop in a timely manner: if they’re not going to have a chance to do something again for quite a while, now is probably not the time for feedback on it.
Fourth - is the feedback too much? Another question that can be split in two. First, have you given “just enough” feedback? I once had a line manager who sought feedback from two-dozen people I worked closely with, and then made me sit through a mammoth feedback session. Because he didn’t feel able to decide what would be most valuable to me from the selection, and didn’t work closely enough with me himself to get a sense of what represented a pattern of behaviour and what wasn’t. He should have selected a small handful of points to discuss with me, instead I was left feeling overwhelmed and underinformed. Second, is the feedback too much for them? Are you expecting the feedback to do too much heavy lifting? It’s not uncommon for people to be asked to do things that demand more than their current skills and knowledge. Were they even ready to take the task on - might you have inadvertently set them up to fail? Are expected standards clear enough? Test this by asking them to self-evaluate what went well and what could be improved - it’ll help you learn how strong their understanding is of what is required and what good looks like. If the answer is “not very strong” - then that’s on you.
Fifth - what do they need? Are they in the right frame of mind? Receiving feedback isn’t a simple, passive act. It requires self-reflection and a commitment to practicing and improving. If they’re not in the frame of mind to receive it, it can do more harm than good. Feedback always tugs at our sense of identity and self-worth - even if we think it shouldn’t - so we need to give it with kindness, compassion and sincerely helpful intent. Have you figured out the best channel or format for them? How do they best receive feedback? Spoken? Written? Both? Understand their particular needs. If you schedule a feedback meeting, talk to them about it before you send over the invite - make sure the purpose of the session is clear to them, and help them deal with potential anxiety by reassuring that the focus is on supporting them to learn and improve. And then be sure to deliver the feedback in a way that lives up to that level of supportiveness.
And a couple of extra things to consider.
A learning organisation won’t always need to lean so heavily on one-to-one feedback. If everyone is sharing work before it’s ready - so it can be improved by the group - then receiving feedback on sh*tty first drafts and designs gets normalised. If your teams are taking a test and learn approach, if you’re running regular reflection sessions (or retrospectives), and if a growth mindset is adopted - then “smart” failure is celebrated and not stigmatised, and people are comfortable not having reached a particular level of performance “yet”, but know how to close that gap;
There are some great ways of providing feedback at aren’t one-to-one. Retros create a space for whole-group reflection on what worked and didn’t work well. Paired writing, and tracked changes and comments in real-time in documents, give visibility to suggested improvements without the heart-sinking red pen. Sessions where you collectively explore common misconceptions, common mistakes, frequently needed inductions and explanations, examples of good work done - just like design crits, these are practices that are great for targeting specific knowledge gaps while giving the whole group the benefit of the refresher.
Are you any good at giving feedback? This is something you need to learn and practice to do well. Monitor whether people are using the feedback you give, evaluate how effective it has been. Seek feedback on how you give feedback.
People only give effective feedback in the right conditions, and after learning and practicising how to do it well, and where the success criteria or desired outcomes are clear.
If you want to be a great manager or a great leader, you need to put the work in to make sure you’re giving them the gift of feedback and not a kick in the teeth.