Week 11, 2024
Straight down to business this weekend…
Professional
I’m going to produce a podcast for Cate McLaurin and the WPSI network. We’ve been planning it this week and I think we’ll be recording it Monday. I’m excited and a little nervous. Reflection: I’m more than ready to do this - which tells me I should have done it earlier. I’ve been playing around with post-production software and tweaking equipment for waaaaay too long, but not actually sharing anything. That might sound odd because I’m so comfortable sharing my written thoughts. But I don’t like the sound of my literal voice, and so find it hard to listen back to myself in the way that I’ll review and edit my blog posts before sharing. Doing this podcast with Cate should help me get over that.
I’ve been doing loads of workshop design this week. A combination of prepping for imminent sessions and getting a jump start on sessions later in the month. It feels nice to not be in just-in-time mode (or seat-of-pants mode), it’s less stress-inducing for sure. Though beyond having the materials and facilitator narrative a smidge more polished, I don’t think being prepared earlier affects the end result that much. Reflection: “prepared” is a product of a range of things - sure, having designed the narrative, exercises and materials for a specific workshop is in there. But so is having a repository of tried-and-tested activities and tools in my brain, and having the confidence as a facilitator to switch things up on the fly in response to unexpected situations. “Feeling” prepared (which I rarely do) is very different to being prepared (which I’m almost always).
I disappointed myself this week. Things have been quite busy and I made sure to put in place some induction plans for a new team member. The team did a great job introducing her to the project and getting her set up, and there is no end of material for her to immerse herself in so she can get to know the problem space. But the meeting she had with me dropped out of my diary and I didn’t remember to put it back in. We’re friends, so she didn’t take it as a snub. And she’s fantastically good at absorbing huge amounts of information, so it hasn’t slowed her down. But it did mean that I hadn’t shared with her the specific things about the project that only I know - contextual and strategic things. The conversation with me would have help her understand the reasons for the scope, and the pace we’re working at, and reassured her on overall deliverability. Instead she was left feeling anxious after her first week. Reflection: There are a few things going on here - (1) my habit of underestimating the value I can bring to things. I put my contributions in the “nice-to-have” box, even when others consider it essential; (2) a need to prod around to understand why the rest of the team didn’t pass that contextual and strategic insight on - Did it not occur to them? Have we all just been moving too fast on the basics (if so, what else did we miss)? Did they assume I would and so they didn’t need to? Did they feel insufficiently briefed themselves, and so I’ve been undercommunicating all round?
Personal
E has had a fever, headache and sore throat all week. Our local Director of Public Health has announced cases of Strep A in the area and I think that’s what she’s caught. As well as being ill she’s also upset because she wanted really good attendance this year (she loves school) and anxious about what the school will say - we think this week off will have pushed her below 95% attendance for the year. And the “Moments Matter: Attendance Counts” adverts on the radio are telling her she ought to just “suck it up”. Reflection: I’m sad that even at this age the incentives in her ecosystem have her wanting to return to school before she’s properly recovered. In the past she’s returned too soon and then needed to take further time off - it all feels so counterproductive and unnecessary. I’m going to keep reminding her of this. And, at the end of the year, when she gets a poor attendance mark, we’ll go out to celebrate her having prioritised her health. Z was “ill” on Monday too. That’s in inverted commas because I eventually started asking questions about her sore stomach and bottom - and learned that she’d never had a hot chilli pepper before nor the after-effects that come with one. A few hours of digestion and a couple of cold baths soon put her right.
I’ve been struggling to make it to art class the last couple of weeks, though I’m still painting at home. Reflection: I’ve noticed that I bailed on art class whenever I worked in London the day before. The in-person work day and commute must take it out of me more than I realised - I am more introvert than extrovert, and I’m easily overstimulated by a London day. As I’m trying to make Mondays and Thursdays my regular office days, perhaps Wednesday would be the best day for a local art class. Maybe I should look into switching days? Or, since I don’t go to art class to socialise, see if I could do an online class?
I’ve been reading and reflecting a lot on allyship and how it needs to be a continuous process of looking at how our biases are affecting our decisions and behaviours, listening and learning from those we’ve disadvantaged or hurt, remembering not to be defensive, and internalising the learning and awareness into our actions going forward. No-one is perfect. And anyone who believes they are unbiased is lying to themselves. We need checks in place to catch us when we f*ck up, and we need paths for moving forward. It doesn’t matter how well-intentioned we’ve been, impact is what matters (paraphrasing Sheree Atcheson). Reflection: research suggests we underestimate the positive impact of allyship. Perhaps that’s the excuse we hold up when we choose to stay comfortable and not rock the boat - that it wouldn’t make a difference, or that it might be seen as virtue-signalling or performative allyship. We need to recognise that we simply cannot build and maintain the inclusive cultures we seek without consistent and robust allyship. We need to keep showing up.