Week 21
No work, all play this week.
Those of you following along at home will remember that the holiday we planned for Easter was scuppered by an expired passport. Well, this half-term we had the rescheduled holiday to Copenhagen.
I learned that short breaks to rainy cities are much easier to pack for than our traditional holidays. And, at ages 10 and 12, our kids can be trusted to (mostly) pack everything they need. We were able to travel light(ish) and pack last minute. Reflection: this was on my to-do list all week, prodding and nagging at the back of my brain as a daunting chore. The reality of it was 5 minutes of planning, 10 minutes of packing, and 10 minutes of checking their bags - plainly not justifying the cognitive burden it represented in my mind. I’m pretty sure this is a throwback to when the kids were younger and packing to go anywhere was a logistical nightmare - so I need to try and reset my assumptions for this stage of my life.
I’ve never visited Copenhagen before. It is a beautiful city. And it feels incredibly safe, relaxed, welcoming and friendly to me, and to my children. But walking around the city I couldn’t help but notice how astonishingly white the population is - this level of homogeneity is really disconcerting and uncomfortable.
I love the combination of bicycles + flat landscapes. If I were to move to Copenhagen, it would be for the cycling culture. There were bikes and cycle lanes everywhere - including lots of physically separate cycle lanes that allowed families with children to cycle safely alongside buses and trucks.
My 12 year old is at an age where she doesn’t want to do (m)any of the things that I’d like to do when it comes to sightseeing. I found that hard to navigate without feeling a little resentful. In the end I think we found a solid compromise, with all of us making it to at least a couple of our individual “must-go” destinations. Reflection: as is often the case, friction emerged just before lunchtime and was resolved when food had buoyed our spirits somewhat. We forget - as adults, as teenagers - how much of an impact neglecting our basic needs has on our frame of mind, on our ability to make decisions, and on our emotions. I think this means: planning our morning after breakfast; reviewing and planning our afternoon after lunch. On reflection, that probably also holds true for my working day, if I want to make the smartest decisions about how I spend my time.
Every day felt about 20% too much for me. My husband and my youngest were keen to squeeze novelty, excitement, learning and fun out of every minute we were there. My eldest and I need downtime, to recover from all the stimulation and to recenter ourselves. Reflection: On a short holiday - where you’re aware time is precious - it’s easy to over-programme your days and end up overwhelmed and exhausted. Especially if you have a 10yo who gets bored easily and demands to be entertained while others are just need some down-time. But cramming too much into a day is counterproductive if you want to enjoy yourself and create good memories, because that’s as much or more about quality than it is quantity. I’m starting to think that splitting into pairs - to indulge our individual interests, energy levels and preferences - is the way to go. Though part of me is sad at the idea - is it really a “family” memory if we’re not all together?
I spent quite a lot of time looking at the Slack app icon on my phone, and persuading myself not to click on it. I succeeded. I’ve been experiencing FOMO because the project I’m on is fun - but it’s also intense so I know if I' start to open notifications, messages and emails I’ll get sucked in. Instead I’m suffering through gentle post-holiday inbox dread. It’s okay, I’ll cope.