Week 25
Work
Really challenging research interviews, with people who are angry, frustrated, grieving, sceptical, and often in poor physical, mental and cognitive health. They’re taking part, despite their anxiety , because they truly believe that people need to be actively involved in the design of policy and services for them. Reflection: It’s a privilege to do this work with them, to help them contribute however much or little they can; and I’m deeply relieved we’ve had had consistently good feedback from the research participants about their experience of us and our sessions. It took an awful lot of preparation and care to get here - far more than we’d take for more standard engagements - so I’m looking forward to sharing what we did, how and why with wider colleagues. I’m also pushing for us to be able to speak more openly about the work, so we can share more widely still.
Working on some operating model stuff - and reminded this week that as much as people think they know what each other is talking about, you’ll often still need to show them what you mean in order to be confident that you are indeed on the same page. That’s even more true if what you’re describing isn’t that widespread. Reflection: dynamic operating models that support the design and delivery of services that continuously improve and evolve to meet changing user needs - they’re not mainstream. And it’s hard to persuade people to take a leap of faith on something relatively unfamiliar especially in the public sector. Telling people about it, trying to explain with words how it looks and feels remarkably different - it’s simply less effective. Sharing lived experiences of these ways of working, going on road-trips to places already working in these ways to see them in action, using analogies and visual metaphors, pointing to contemporaries already doing this, actually starting to adopt and iterate some of the habits and building some of the capabilities (starting small). It all makes it feel more real, more relatable, more attainable.
Home
Pride London. I was supposed to go. I was looking forward to going - it would have been my first Pride. Sadly I was too unwell. But that’s okay. There will be other Pride events. I’ve realised, though, that lots of the events run really, really late (like, 10pm-5am). The group I planned to go with arrived at one venue two hours after I went to bed on Saturday (I could tell from the WhatsApp messages I read this morning). If I want to start doing stuff like that occasionally, well I need to figure out the logistics. How do people do it? The last train home is too early, at midnight, so are people instead getting the first train the next day? I don’t think I’ve ever stayed awake that long. Reflection: I want to feel more part of the LGBTQ+ community this year. And I need to figure out how to do that as a 43 year old.
For those following along, I’ve returned to my swimming lessons recently. My breaststroke, of all the strokes, is the weakest - and alas my rubbish breaststroke technique caused some severe groin strain this week (no innuendo). My swim teacher is enthusiastic but still a little too rookie to know what’s causing it - so I asked him if he could look into what it might be, outside of our lessons, essentially setting him homework ahead of our next session. Reflection: Previously I’d have felt too uncomfortable to make an ask like this. Maybe it’s my British politeness? Maybe it’s something rooted deep in women of past generations (certainly where I grew up) that sense that we shouldn’t be demanding? Either way, awkwardness over something a small as this isn’t okay and isn’t a sentiment I’m willing to submit to - not least because I need to figure out what is causing me the pain so that I can move beyond it and finally get strong enough for open water swimming.
On Thursday evening we had the Open Evening for the secondary school my youngest is hoping to attend in September 2025. She’s lucky - her sister already goes to the school, and it applies the sibling rule in considering applications, so she’s very likely to get in. Going round the school site, I felt a deep longing to return to school myself. Reflection: I think over the decades I’ve become increasingly aware of how much I don’t know - and I felt that intensely while visiting classrooms, seeing the curriculum materials, seeing the work of teenagers now. Some seriously strong FOMO. All the subjects I didn’t take, all the books I never read, all the practical skills I never developed. All the curiosity unindulged. I’m getting a taste of it with my eldest daughter - who already knows so much more than I do about so many things. So I’m looking forward to learning vicariously through my children during their high school years.