Week 37
This week was a mostly about SDinGov. With a little bit of work stuff - largely focused on adding a further level of policy nuance to a digital team’s understanding of the service we’re all trying to design. And, of course, preparing for SDinGov.
I love the feel of knowing a talk well enough to walk around the stage, and connect with the audience more deeply than when I have to stay close enough to the laptop to keep flicking a glance to speaker notes on the screen. But this time I didn’t have the time or headspace to rehearse the talk to the point of being off-book/notes-free. In fact, despite this talk having whirled around in my head for months now, I was still finalising content the morning of the talk - because my brain woke me repeatedly during the night with new ideas I wanted to incorporate. Reflection: I went into the talk anxious and disappointed in myself. But from the feedback I’ve had (and thank you everyone who took the time to tell me you got something from it), it looks like I’m my harshest critic. So I’ll chalk that up as a win and be kinder to less-prepared-Audree in future.
I was grateful to have the second speaker slot of the conference - immediately after the amazing Rachel Coldicutt - because I can’t eat breakfast or have a cup of tea before a talk, I’m too nervous. I was famished by the time we reached lunchtime - I would have felt positively faint if I had the final speaking slot of the day. Other advantages of this slot: I was able to give other speakers my undivided attention, I wasn’t distracted and unsociable because of nervousness about being underprepared, I was relaxed and engaged and so really enjoyed some smashing talks. It’s a shame we don’t get to control which session we get, isn’t it
Highlight of the conference was KA McKercher’s session - I really needed the inspiration in the codesign space. Things that resonated most - reminder that not everyone can or wants to participate in activities of the intensity offered; that there are a range of roles that can be played by people in the community that aren’t group-based workshops but are just as valid and often as or more valuable; and that consultation (and other channels for voice and contribution) isn’t a bad thing and still needs to happen.
Lowlight of the conference was hearing someone seeming to attribute the Windrush Scandal to design debt - rather than recognising the hostile environment written into legislation as an intentional policy design choice, and recognising the massive and enduring repercussions that many decades of systemic and structural racism have for the Windrush compensation scheme. Reflection: We need to be more actively anti-racist in calling each other out for this sort of sh*t. We also desperately need more on decolonising policy and design in the civil service. And we don’t currently - as far as I see - have policy design leaders in the civil service capable of delivering this.
I loved getting the chance to see so many people IRL with whom I’ve worked on projects or chatted on social media. Reflection: I’m never going to make the most of the networking opportunity at conferences because my brain is often too buzzing from the sessions for me to go into extrovert mode during the breaks. And I’m okay with that - I am good with who I am, and I did still have a great many awesome conversations.
Home:
I missed the kids this week. They were out at the Milton Keynes Brick Festival on Sunday with my ex-husband, so I didn’t get to spend time with them then. And then on Monday I travelled to Edinburgh. It was really lovely to be able to socialise with old and new colleagues and reminisce about times passed. But I’m looking forward to getting back. 6 days without spending time with them is too much (for me…they might not mind…). Steve is heading off to Poland with the rest of his product team - one of them is getting married and they’re all going over for it. So I’ve had plenty of time with Z and this weekend to make up for my absence.